*Marathon Man: Faster Harder Longer More!*

Daddy T and Mister Mike's workshop in May at the GLBTQ Center was a huge success and guys who came to the event wrote in their evaluations that they really appreciated how real and straight talking Daddy T and Mister Mike were. Please enjoy some highlights from their workshop!

Daddy T: We have a lot of things we want to cover tonight. A lot of it is pretty personal, from our own lives, our own experiences. A lot of you folks know me as Daddy T and this is my partner Mister Mike. I just want to say upfront, neither of us are medical doctors, certified counselors, drug counselors, social workers, anything like that and we don't need be because what we are going to be sharing with you tonight is our own experience of playing on speed, okay? Our intent on facilitating this workshop is to help you, as we have both been helped by others. 

We are not here to tell you not to use speed or to stop using. Abstinence can be a part of harm reduction, but it's not necessarily what everyone chooses, it's what some people choose. Whether you want to stop or don't want to stop, we want you to minimize the negative effects and increase the positive things so that playing can be healthier.

We are going to be frank, I don't think anyone here is going to be uncomfortable with street language, swearing, directly discussing sexual matters. We are going to keep it real.

With no further ado, we are going to give some background on ourselves and who we are...

Mister Mike: My name is Mister Mike but when I was doing porn, I used the stage name ___. In 1995 at age 22, I was a chunky insecure horny little devil. I had aspirations to be in porn but I didn't think I could do it. I was out dancing in LA and I was approached by this beautiful larger than life very notorious director. I was really surprised, especially with all my insecurities. Two days later I was on my way to Palm Springs to do a few films. Lots of fun in the sun! I completed over 100 films. I kept my 9-5 strait job, I finished off college, and I put every bit of porn work money in the bank. I had a dream of owning a home one day, and I did it.

My meth use started about the same time I started my porn work. Speed for me has been a bunch of ups and downs. I have smoked, I have snorted, I have booty bumped, I have slammed and had the most extreme sexual experiences ever in my life. In the process I learned to take care of myself and do it right. There is a way to do it right, a way to plan your party. To eat, drink, take care of yourself and be aware of your surroundings. I learned how to take care of myself and when I didn't take care of myself on a run I felt it every time. Every time I didn't drink enough water, eat enough, or sleep enough I was sick.

I never liked and never will like condoms- but that's my choice. While partying I met a wonderful guy who swept me off my feet, who thought I was hotter than shit. I let him fuck me without a condom and dump it right in. Well, two months later, I was infected with HIV. That was due to my inexperience, my meth use, and I just didn't care anymore. He was hot and I wanted it. That's okay. That's okay. But look... I am here today.

For me, slamming speed was the worst thing ever. When I started slamming a year ago I had 800 T Cells, six months ago when I quit using speed my T cells were down to 225. I want to stay healthy. I am HIV+ and for me I needed quit- since I quit, with the help of God and my medication I am up to 580 T Cells...I slammed speed about 5 times total and went from 800 down to 225 in six months. I stopped because I was starting to feel bad. I was starting to get sick every time I did it. I had no energy, I felt like I was going to barf for a week after using, I had the runs for days and days; I would literally lay in bed for a week before I would recover. Sometimes after partying I would catch a terrible cold, flu, or walking pneumonia. I used meth up until 6 months ago. At this point in my life I am clean and sober. I feel good, and I haven't been sick in a long time.

To be honest, nowadays I am having the best sex ever with my wonderful partner. Daddy T is amazing. I never thought I would have this kind of sex, sober sex, and with Daddy T, it is wonderful, committed, and loving. And it works. I had never committed to anybody in my life, I had always cheated or it was always an open relationship. Whatever happens during the workshop, take it, do what you will, and we hope it benefits you guys, and at this point I would like to introduce my beautiful partner, Daddy T.

Daddy T: I am a long-term survivor of HIV. I contracted HIV 22 years ago in 1985. In 1991 I got an AIDS diagnosis- I contracted an opportunistic infection. I spent the next 10 years permanently disabled, on the system, fighting for my life with one illness after another. During that time, my meager benefits were hardly enough to live on. So I made ends meet (and then some!) by opening up an erotic massage/escort business. It's safe to say that I have had at least 3,000 sexual partners, most of them have been men, and I would not argue if someone were to say to me "You are a sex addict." I have had several long term relationships, one for 7 years, one for 10, and one for 4. None of them were monogamous. My partner today is Mister Mike and we are monogamous, this is the first time in my life I have actually had a monogamous relationship. We met online 5 months ago.

Drugs have been a part of my life since I was 15 and lit up a joint. Since that time I have done just about everything: alcohol, cannabis, nitrous oxide, poppers, ecstasy, LSD, cocaine, crack, mushrooms, ketamine, GHB, and certainly crystal meth. I have swallowed it, snorted it, smoked it; booty bumped it, and slammed it. I have to say that my preference for everything is smoking, if it lights up I want to inhale it. I actually stopped smoking cigarettes at the beginning of the year.

As crazy as shit as I have been, I will say, that I have always tried to balance my HIV infected body by taking a holistic approach. If I am going to be out doing all this crazy shit, I balance it by doing some not crazy shit. I think that's part of the reason I survived. I also think that if I had got infected earlier than 1985 I probably would have died of AIDS, but I held on long enough for protease inhibitors to come along and that kind of turned the tide for me. Some of the things that I did then and still do now include homeopathic medicine, Chinese herbs, western supplements, acupuncture, chiropractic treatments, meditation, body building, exercise on a daily basis, and massage.

One of the biggest things is communicating. I really believe that when we hold something inside- especially if its shame based- if we hold onto it, if we don't openly talk about it, I think it eats us like a cancer. Generally, when it comes to sex, sexual diseases or drug use recreationally, there is shame. I have seen a lot of people die regardless of their circumstances- because of shame. Which is one of the reasons why I am here with you all today to talk.

There was a time when I was doing speed every single day while running a business; doing bumps while working and getting a ½ hour of sleep a night. It was crazy madness. What probably sustained me for so long was nutrition and hydration. In 2001 I checked myself into a 90 day residential program at the Redwood Center because I was no longer managing my speed use. Since that time I have been in recovery- not all of that time has been abstinent from speed. I have practiced and benefited from the 12 step program, had a sponsor, worked with the sponsor, did the 12 steps. Today I do not go to meetings. I passionately believe in harm reduction. One of the reasons I got so actively involved in the Speed Project is because it is cutting edge harm reduction- right out there in your face. Harm reduction includes abstinence for some people.

To the person who says "You can only do abstinence! You have to go to meetings and do the 12 steps!" this is what I say... I say, "Look, harm reduction is baby steps towards a healthier lifestyle and oftentimes precedes doing a 12 step program. Harm reduction is a good thing not just for ourselves, but for each other." Sometimes the 12 step program claims that they embrace and include the drug user who is unwilling or unable to stop using, but really, they want you to stay clean. That is not necessarily reasonable for all people. Regardless, reducing harm always has benefits, it helps our health. To people who don't support harm reduction I say, certainly doing nothing is worse than doing something like harm reduction.

Today, I do feel done with doing drugs and getting high. I would not be here today if I hadn't had the support of a lot of lovers in my life including a lot of fellow users and addicts. I think that I have had incredibly good luck; the time I contracted HIV, the advances in medicine, and people who stood behind me so they wouldn't see my life go down the toilet. I also have a very strong belief in and a connection to a higher supreme being- that's just me- I know I am being watched over.

So, basically we want to begin by saying that the way we look at it, speed does affect our health. It affects our judgment. It affects how we feel about our relationships and about ourselves. It does alter our sexual performance and our behavior and it does increase our risk for contracting diseases. It influences our community and how others look at our community. Whether we are users or non users- we are all touched by speed. And it's not going to go away as long as someone wants it, it will be available. It's not going to disappear. However, we all know, as I do, that some of us- do disappear. We've all had friends and loved ones who have dropped out, dropped dead, whatever. So I am here today, to tell you, I am alive. When I used speed it felt good, when speed used me it hurt like hell.

That's who we are and where we are coming from.... What we're about here, is sharing what we have learned in our use, how we have survived thus far, and we will try to share things that might benefit you.

*Making a plan that works for your PNP pleasure & health*

Daddy T: If I prepare before I take that first bump, I am going to have a hell of a lot better time and I am going to come down a whole lot easier too. If I know the kind of scene I am looking for, if I know the kind of connection and the kind of guy I want to hook up with, if I know the kinds of toys I want to play with and the kinds of porno's I want as ambience.

Mike: It's always better to be prepared, once you are high nobody wants to step outside, nobody wants to get busted by anybody, it's better to have everything you need there.

Daddy T: Before I got high I made certain rules in my head. Yeah, by the time I was hitting the streets to hook up with somebody I was already high, but I still had my rules going on in my head. If you just start thinking that way, like "This is really what I need to have fun, and I am not going to bend those rules" or "If I am going to bend them, I am only going to bend them this much", or "I know how I am going to bend them in advance." Think it through beforehand, it's going to make it healthier, it's going to make it safer; it's going to make it more fun.

Mike: You guys should always know your boundaries in advance. Always know... whether its safe sex, sero sorting, sero-positioning, or don't ask don't tell.

Daddy T: The absolute safest sex is- you stay over there- I'll stay over here and we never touch each other. Probably we all have sex that's a little more engaged then that. We are talking boundaries here, before you step out, before you hook up, what works for you.

Being HIV+ , I never hook up with anybody without having a conversation about status. I really believe that if you don't talk about HIV status, you are holding something in and it's going to eat at you like a cancer, its going to be a problem. I have found that just getting it out there right away, not wasting any time, helps. I would show up at some guys house who was hotter than shit, and we would start lighting up and talking and I just come right out with it, "I've been positive for X number of years."

The guy might have an issue talking about being HIV+ or might not be sure if he is still HIV negative, but I am already making the decision in my head that I am not going to stick my cock in his ass and blow a load because they are HIV negative or they are not comfortable with the whole thing and here I am spilling my guts and they're not, so I am not going to do certain things with this person. When I was partying I wasn't necessarily just connecting with other guys who were HIV+...the advantage of connecting with another guy who is HIV+ is we start dropping down the spread of HIV... which isn't a bad thing and the other thing is that I feel a little more comfortable about swapping fluids, whatever they be, whether its spit, cum or whatever, back and forth because at least we aren't sharing something completely foreign to the other.

Mister Mike: When you are partying and playing like a lot of us do and its not talked about, always assume your partner is HIV+. Be more careful out there. Play the way you want to play and take care of yourself, but always assume they are positive when they are not using a condom....that's just the best way to do it for yourselves. Keep the STD bugs to yourself too. Who wants bugs? I don't, I've had STDs in the past, and it's not fun.

Daddy T: I had good luck, in all my years ripping and running on speed, I actually never got an STD and I was as fucking unsafe as anybody- I think part of that was good luck, and another was I was taking care of myself. Let me be honest, I am a wallowing pig, the raunchier it is- the more I am going to like it....but I want to be as clean and hygienic about it because it makes it better and more comfortable for me.

If I am feeling someone out before I really expect to get nasty with them, and either they stink like shit or they look like hell, or they are talking about the 10 guys they just got fucked by 20 minutes ago down at the sex club and cum is dripping down their sock... okay, I am probably not going to have my head anywhere near their ass, I might not even want to hang around them. When I came through that door I came showered and clean. I might get funky a little later, but I showed up clean, and that's just healthier. I don't have my germs, I douche, I clean myself out, I am ready to go, I am more confident. When I make the decision that I am going to get fucked by this guy I know I am not going to use a condom. I don't want a fucking condom on his dick- I just want his cock.

After he blows his load, within 2 or 3 minutes I am in the bathroom hosing out. You know, that's not safe sex, but what I just did is I reduced 30 minutes of time for that load to be completely absorbed into my bloodstream. I personally don't really care about different strains of HIV, but what about amoebas? What about hepatitis? STDs and parasites? The sooner I got his load washed out of my ass, the sooner I got cleaned up, the less likely it is I will catch something. Its not 100% safe, but I just improved my odds a lot. I am probably not going to stop taking loads up my hole, but I can make the decision not to leave them in there all night. Another tip, if you are going to be playing with toys sterilize them in advance or have condoms to slip on the dildos, you can pull that condom off and slip another one on.

Mister Mike: For those of us who are HIV+ our immune systems are already compromised- we don't want to add an STD to it. Unlike someone who is negative, we can't defend ourselves as well so we have to be extra careful. One of the reasons Daddy T and I decided to be in a committed relationship was that we love each other dearly and we will avoid STDs. We don't need STDs. If you are HIV+ you want to remember that STDs impact you a lot harder.

*Avoiding online fakes and ending up a missing person*

Daddy T: Say someone sends me a really hot picture and is IM'ing me really hot things.

I don't know who I am really talking to; it could be my aunt Louise. So I require a phone conversation before I agree to meet somewhere or have this person show up at my front door. No phone, no bone...you have to be clear about what works for you. Frankly, I can tell about 90% of the time by the voice and a minute or two phone conversation whether I am gonna like this person and if this person is real. Tell a friend "I am going to hook up; here is the address I am going to. The guy said his name was Mike, if you don't here from me in 10 hours give me a call. If I don't answer my cell phone or I am not home- come check on me.

*I think I love you! Speed lets me.....*

Mister Mike: When you are high your serotonin levels are way up and your emotions run wild during all this. You want to remember when you are high you are high, no matter how in love you feel... you are with that person in the moment and 12 hours later when it's all said and done, it's gone.

Daddy T: I'll tell you about a little scene I had many years ago that really hooked me into crystal. I was partying with a group of really hot guys- some of them were really good friends of mine. Emotionally, I was in a really unhappy place because my lover had just attempted suicide and he was at SF General in lockdown mode. I was in a lot of grief and here I was getting ready to party. I wasn't really into speed back then, I was more into cocaine.

One of my buddies introduced me to speed that night and got me majorly high. I just wanted to lose control because I had been holding control for so much because of this suicide thing. I went down to my truck, pulled out my massage table and set it up in the living room and the next thing I knew, I was on that table all tied up. It was my first time being restrained- and whoa that was so hot! I was so fucking turned on, high as a kite- and had half a dozen guys all over the place.

I was like, "Oh what are you going to do to me?" and as I was having this experience part of me was watching myself and all of this challenging shit I was feeling, resisting, and I couldn't move, and I also had the opposite going on inside, "Oh my god, this is so loving! This is so fucking hot!" and I felt like... I want to do some more of this speed shit, okay? My run was on for the next 12 years. Kinda always chasing that, wanting to get that next high, you know?

So I just wanted to say that meth opens up things within us, and it's exciting and it's revealing and it can oftentimes be very empowering, particularly because it breaks down inhibitions which sometimes close up all of who we can be.... But at the same time speed can throw you out so far that you're like a helium balloon that has been un-tethered and is just blowing in the wind- who knows where it is going to land, on a cactus or whatever. You no longer have what you think is like real control, just remember that...the love of your life on that night of slamming may not answer your phone call next week...you know? So keep those shreds of reality going on in your head...

Before we talk about role playing/dominance and submission I want to preface it and say, for me, I have played a lot of different roles, both in the bedroom an out. I think when it comes to experiencing aspects of our inner selves it's about intimacy and vulnerability. That's one reason I like to have a discussion with people before I start getting really crazy with them. Okay, yeah, sometimes you walk into a room and the scene is so fucking on, that you are on. But at some point in the evening there will be a slow down in the groove and what I am getting at is allowing yourself to get more vulnerable, more intimate.

I was actually able to address some of the things I was scared about in myself while PNPing. One of them, I am actually a pretty powerful presence when I top, but owning that power in such a way that I am respecting and holding somebody tenderly as I am fucking the hell out of them- how do you do that balancing act? Or... if you are on your back with your legs in the air for the 20th hour strait, how do I access that part of you that is really aggressive, like, "Yeah you got your cock in me, but guess who is letting you!"

We are talking about energy and attitudes that are inside of us, the demons and the angels, and we all have judgments about parts of ourselves and sometimes what comes out. Sometimes, we are like "Oh my fucking god I love that!" and other times "Oh my god, I am so uncomfortable with that!!!" Especially when you are coming down and thinking about what you did in the bathhouse with 20 different guys and everybody is talking about it.

So this whole role playing thing, whether you are active or passive, is something that I think is unleashed with speed use, and for me I worked out a lot of my good little boy Catholic stuff ...but sometimes there is a price to a pay for that stuff- maybe you unleashed some things inside that you are not really ready to grapple with or maybe you never want to grapple with that again.

*EAT DRINK SLEEP*

Mister Mike: All of you are unique individuals physiologically. Always remember that we are all different and our bodies react to drugs differently. I used to take ½ doses of GHB, ½ doses of crystal slamming. I couldn't do as much as the people I was partying with because my tolerance was lower, that's my body chemistry. Never let anyone else prepare your stuff, regardless of who is offering. Watch what they are doing and always be aware of the dose. You can always do more.

Daddy T: Figure out what your tolerance is and do ½ just to be safe. It doesn't matter that you'll postpone the real rush for 15 minutes.

Mister Mike: After a few days of not sleeping I used to get very paranoid and see things and hear things that weren't there. Try to remember those things are imagined things. Sleep deprivation and hallucinations are hard to deal with.

Daddy T: Everybody is different, I didn't really suffer from paranoia but I got obsessive. I was usually the one with the shutters wide open looking at someone in the window across the street, but really it was just a shadow- but I would stare at it for hours. I would go over to someone else's place and they would have plastic sheeting taped up over the windows. Really it's the same thing, it's obsessing. Or, say I am sitting at the computer for 8 hours....

Mister Mike: There is nothing that is more of a turn off for me, than going over to a guy's house and he is on the computer all night long. I think "What the hell am I doing here? Why don't you just put a condom on and fuck the computer?" What the fuck is that? So guys, remember if you have guests, pay attention to the guests, and forget the computer!

Daddy T. Here is one trick to keep hydrated. Put a big old plastic cup of water or Gatorade in every room you might be playing in- the kitchen, den, and living room. It will help you stay high longer! You are going to keep an erection longer! You will be happier, you will look flawless longer, and when the party is finally over, it isn't going to be as bad coming down as it would if you were dehydrated and malnourished.

Audience: Take a Midol. Midol helps the come down.

Mister Mike: When I partied, I would go for 3 days without eating. What I learned to do was buy a big old jar of water soluble protein powder. You go in the kitchen, shake it up, guzzle it. You gotta eat and for me solid food didn't work. With the protein powder I got all my vitamins, all my protein, all my potassium. Don't buy the protein powder you have to blend, when you are partying you don't want to go to the kitchen and blend; you want to grab for a container, shake it up and drink. The cheapest way to go is to buy a tub of protein that will last you month.

Daddy T: You can also buy Ensure or Boost- down two gulps of that and you just gave yourself 100% of the daily recommended vitamins, protein, and carbs. You will notice that within 15 or 20 minutes- even if you haven't had any rest- you are going to feel better. The speed left in system is going to kick in again and you are going to have a little bump up on your high.

*Roles, sexual performance, crystal dick, and enhancers*

Mister Mike: I never had a problem keeping it up because of the speed itself, people are different. For me, it's such a bummer when you are at a party and you are topping and for a couple of hours there is a period where I cannot keep it up. There is too much pressure to keep it hard- that performance anxiety is so big on my mind... bottomless bottom syndrome?

Daddy T: I'll be happy to cover that! The bottomless bottom. There is something really wonderful about taking someone in your hole- especially someone who really turns you on, who really is really pushing your buttons and all that good stuff...but there's also some issues I found that came up for me, particularly after a long periods of always bottoming, I started having some emotional issues about my masculinity. And I think that goes hand in hand with no erection...guys have this thing... we are 'really men' when our cocks are fucking a hole.

For me, one of the most difficult things I found when I did too much speed is that I lost my erection, and that's all she wrote...If we are always the bottom, maybe there is something compromised in our masculinity...not everybody has that problem emotionally... but some of us do...it was certainly something that I dealt with, particularly before Viagra came onto the scene. It was something I had trouble with. I kind of put on a good face about it, but I think it was eating at my self esteem a little bit....and I find in our community particularly, you see it in the jokes at the bar or whatever, "Oh, she's just a big old bottom!!!" Now, okay, you show me a top who doesn't want a big old bottom! But there is still derision about it. It just comes with the territory, so I found emotionally, it was an issue I had to deal with partying on speed. No more erection, and all I am is the Lincoln Tunnel, drive on through....

Mister Mike: But guys, if you are a good bottom you can be a good top. I am a very versatile player and I have converted the biggest bottoms in the world to the best tops in the world. You gotta give yourself a chance. On the other side, if you are a total top, keep your mind open to bottoming. If you are a total bottom, keep your mind open, no one is forcing your hand. Remember, the play will be a lot more fun when that versatility factor comes into play- you aren't stuck in a repetitive motion all night and all day.

Daddy T: Something that Mister Mike is really good at, is giving to his partner... and the same goes for myself when I top, I might not have an erection, but I can still embody some amazing top energy with my play partner. There's a lot of things I can do without a hard on. When it comes to pleasuring your partner, no matter what role you play, its all about being attentive to your partner and getting them so comfortable that they can let down certain barriers that they have always held and experience new things within themselves. You give them that because you are sensitive to their needs as a top, you are not just 'me me me me me'.

Mister Mike: For tops out there, forget the pressure when you are partying. Don't worry about it, if you can't get hard- who cares! There are other things you can do as a top. Don't obsess on an erection. You can spend hours trying to get hard...you don't want to deal with that. Enjoy the moment! Use your fingers, use a toy, and use your tongue.

Speaking of topping and hard dicks, performance enhancers- they are a real top saver. Let's face it, when we are partying we want our Cialis, we want our Levitra, we want our Viagra! But there are some negatives when in comes to all that, the first one.

Viagra and poppers don't mix. I know 3 people who have died (not in my presence) doing that. Mixing the two can be deadly. If you do Viagra, do not do poppers. Remember that your heart rate and blood pressure are already up because you are high on speed.

Daddy T: The way performance enhancers and cock rings work is they constrict the veins that allow blood to flow out of your cock, but they allow blood flow into the cock so you get hard. So what you have is blood flowing in, but nothing going out. That's the reason you stay hard, or stay harder longer. But if you aren't circulating that blood after awhile that's not good for the tissue in your cock, the blood can't flow out to get cleaned by your kidneys.

Also, when taking enhancers you have to think, I have already got once substance in my system (speed) and my body is processing it and has got to clean it out, now I have something else in my system. Your system is working harder; your kidneys and liver are working harder to detoxify your body.

A lot of guys don't follow the instructions about how much to take- say I have been partying for 12 hours and I pop another Cialis which is good for 36 hours. The truth is the rate of return continually diminishes- just like anytime you get high on anything, the first hit is great, the second one you gotta do a little bit more, it's the same thing with erection enhancing pills.

*Coming down...Do I have to?*

Mister Mike: I always know when to stop. I can party for 3 days and tell myself, "Okay I gotta stop now." I have been in situations where I didn't stop and it made it worse. The come down in general sucks. I hate it, hate it, hate it. The day after I party is the worst feeling in the world to me.

Daddy T: There was a time when I felt like I never really came down. I always had something in my system. The last time I used speed and the reason it was the last time- is that my come down was so hard for me. Honestly, it was a much shorter run than I had ever done before but I am 46 and my body is changing, it's fucked. Every time the comedown is fucked, especially if I have been doing other things like GHB or Ketamine or ecstasy. When you come down your serotonin is depleted, your dopamine is gone, and you are running on fumes, you're tired, but you are still wired. If you are like me, you are still fucking obsessed; you still got a porno movie going. I could never come when I partied, it was always after the party was over, all the playmates had gone home, and I was alone... just me and my videos....I would finally get a load out and go to sleep. And that could be 48 hours later! That was me. And I did this for years.

If you stay hydrated and you eat nutritious foods while you are playing and if you can even agree with your play partner(s) that you don't have to be fucking non-stop and its cool to hang out and chat with your partner and just rest for awhile, get horizontal, lay down and stop performing. It's going to make the come down easier, it's still gonna hurt, and that's just the fucking truth about meth, its just the way it is.

Daddy T: When I think about some of the crazy shit I did, I remember times when I partied so hard and so long and I went to some really low places, bawling. My life felt like there was nothing positive, and at that time, I would say "I am never doing this again!" Ultimatums. "I am never doing speed again! Boo hoo!!!!!"...and the next weekend I would be partying again.

We all have friends or family who want us to stop using. If we are not stopping for whatever reason-during the come down our guilt comes up and our low self esteem is fully on, and we say to ourselves "I am going to get my shit together! Get a job! Save money! I am not going to do this again! I am going to stop hooking up with my dealer! And then we are back out doing it again. And you know, what tends to happen is it just erodes our self esteem a little bit more each time and becomes that downward shame spiral.

Mister Mike: For me coming down has always been hard due to depression. The depression leads to guilt and guilt leads to shame and none of us needs to feel that.

Daddy T: If you practice these harm reduction strategies it will make a difference. Whether you stop using speed or you don't stop using is not the point- practicing harm reduction makes a difference. Because you are empowering yourself, you are making choices, regardless of what your mother says, your best friend, or regardless of what your doctor says about you using speed, you are making choices for you. You are respecting yourself, honoring yourself. If when you play with another person and you openly share what you are doing to take care of yourself and invite them and give them the space to do the same, now you are taking care of your brother, That helps build self esteem too, when we are all helping each other.